Ernest

Ernest's Story

Recounted by Ernest and written up by Carol Ann Cole

Over fifty years ago in the small community of Portage River New Brunswick, Ernest Legere lived with his parents and ten siblings – six brothers and four sisters.  The Legere family was rich in love, laughter, music, family and the ties that come with knowing who your friends and neighbours are.

As a young man Ernest, along with his younger sister Jeanine and her friend, left the warm embrace of Portage River and flew to Calgary – the land of money and opportunity.  This was a time when the air lines were still offering ‘stand-by’ flights and they patiently stood by and hoped. Their positive thoughts worked. They all boarded the same flight.  They were off to a good start.

The girls found work and Ernest did too.  He signed on with the Iron Workers Union and for six months the money came in - life was looking good. Ernest saw a way to fulfill his dream.  Feeling the close bonds of family he returned home to help care for his parents and his younger special-needs brother.  He was, for the moment, unemployed but his dream was very much alive and it revolved around his new girlfriend – he was where he should be. 

Sadly, his brother and both of his parents passed away.  Unemployment ran out.  Ernest’s girlfriend, the eldest of ten, did not want to leave her family or her hometown.   Ernest had to leave again to find work – he packed his dream with him.  He would come home again when the time was right.

Back in Calgary, Ernest worked as a general contractor for a month and then was drawn to Edmonton where money and jobs were thought to be in abundance.  Living arrangements were congested – eight friends all trying to make ends meet – too many in one place.  Ernest moved on to a small basement apartment with a friend from back home.

Unemployed once again he applied for welfare - he learned something new.  If he had a girlfriend welfare would pay for a roof over their head – an apartment of their own.  Ernest knew that the woman he wanted to be his partner for life would not make the trip west.  So, he called another friend.  “How would you like to make a few bucks,” was the question and the answer came swiftly. She showed up and went with Ernest back to the Welfare office.  “Look who dropped in,” Ernest said to the Welfare officer and his life began to fall back into place. He gave his friend the money he had promised and she headed back home. He had his own place and a few dollars coming in.

Christmas came.  Unemployed loomed and Ernest was missing home.  He packed up and returned to his roots.  He got the girl back too – his dream. She had left him for someone else but now she was willing to give him another chance.  Love for this woman was pure – they had not yet made love but that was still part of the dream.  It was time to start looking after himself, his girlfriend and his future. Ernest would purchase a home – his first purchase. His first home.

A small house in Portage River with two acres of his friends land would be his.  The house was small – 20 x 18 - no electricity.   But it was his, and it was home.  Ernest lived there for two years and after a fight with his landlord he picked up his house (literally) and moved it on to his father’s land. Now he could see the ocean from his little piece of heaven on earth.  During one particularly tough winter with no power and no road access Ernest made the decision to move his little home one more time – closer to one of his brothers.  This time he stayed in his home for seven years.  Work came and went and when Ernest found himself on welfare again he fell into a deep depression.  Depression comes with a black hole that is difficult to climb out of.  The battle raged within.

During a drunken state Ernest attempted to repair a broken stove pipe.  When he thought he had successfully completed the task at hand he went to his brothers house and decided he needed to sleep. While he slept, his house caught fire. No road access meant the fire trucks could not get to his home. He stood and watched it burn.

Looking for the positive in the future, Ernest had a thought . . .

‘I will build my home right here – same lot.’  He did. Ernest was still battling his demons – depression and the bottle – not always in that order. One morning three years after building his own home he knew what he had to do. He had to find work if his dreams were to ever come true. If he was to be with the woman he loved he had to turn his life around. He had to find work. As the saying goes, Ernest had to “clean up his act” and he was ready and willing to do that.  It was almost a good feeling.

Purchasing a bus ticket to Toronto with his last welfare check Ernest found a bed at the Sally Anne with other homeless people.  Soon he found work in his trade. He had to wait for his first cheque to buy new boots – his work boots were too small. He was literally penniless.  When he got paid his boss gave him a day off so he could find those new boots – they felt so much better.  Steel-toe-boots that are a size too small are not fun.

For a period of time life was easier – at least a bit easier.  Ernest had work, a place to live and was saving a bit of money.  He was still drinking and knew he should stop but one thing at a time.  After seven or eight months he went home again. This time, with a purpose.

Ernest had his land surveyed and even though he had pretty serious differences of opinion with several family members he kept moving forward – or trying.

The boom was coming to the West but until it arrived Ernest headed for Toronto one more time – he needed to make money.  His demons had other ideas.  He partied until there was nothing left.  He stopped looking for work.  He was a drunk.

And then, eureka!  His bank offered him a Gold Visa with a five thousand dollar limit. He could not believe his luck. As he was walking out of the bank with his new best friend (his Visa card) he tried the card just to be sure – he asked for $50.00 and he got it - $50.00. It wasn’t a joke.  The bank liked him. Who knew a man on welfare had access to so much money? Certainly this was welcomed news to Ernest. In no time at all he spent five thousand dollars – every damn cent. 

Ernest recalls in detail sitting on the steps one morning with nothing – literally with nothing other than a new and considerable debt.  His mind was going in a million different directions.  While in retrospect it makes no sense, at the time the talk was of malaria and when a mosquito rested on his arm he made an immediate decision – he would once again head west. And he did – at 9 am the next morning.  Ernest has often made fast decisions in life and this was no exception.

Ernest called a friend he had in Edmonton he was immediately invited to move in. They partied. And they partied some more.  Finally his friend said, “My friend, you need to get a job.”

The Iron Workers Union helped in the job hunt this time and after two months in Edmonton the Union offered Ernest work in Fort Saskatchewan.  Off he went for what was to be a six month contract. He was laid off after three months and this time the Pipe Fitters Union found him a gig for three months.  He was following the money trail and was concentrating on his dream waiting for him back home.

Many people with Maritime roots will tell you that the pull of home always exists – no matter the success or the life you are living, in the back of your mind you want to go home. The same was true for Ernest. He followed his well worn path back to his roots. With the help of friends who had worked in many different trades he built his dream home. The home that would bring his love to him.  A brand 24 x 28 two story home.  All he had to do was supply the workmen with food and booze.  He could do that. Ernest added to the house as he went along and soon there was a second bedroom and another bathroom too.  He brought his love to see the house – he had built what she wanted.  

Ernest needed more money to finish the house “just right.”

With only one month of unemployment insurance left Ernest went to work in Edmonton and then Fort McMurray. He earned big money, albeit he blew five thousand at a local casino before returning home.  He built the road to the dream home and that cost money. So did digging the well and installing the septic system. Before he knew it, Ernest owed five thousand dollars for his septic system, another four thousand to his Visa and fifteen thousand to his Credit Union. It had all crept up on him – some days he didn’t see it coming because of the booze.

He needed money again and wanted to follow that “boom” that was supposed to be happening out west.  Toronto seemed like a good place to wait for the boom so he packed up and parked his dream for a minute – or so he thought.

This time the party lasted for two long months.  Money was nowhere in sight.  Finally work – construction at Bay and Gerard Streets in downtown Toronto. They were building two huge condo buildings and work was available.   Troubles with the boss who sent him to another site where it was impossible for Ernest to arrive on time (no car so he relied on public transit only.)  He quit.

Then, his luck changed. He was hired to work on another large construction project.  This one was at Yorkville and Bay Streets– more huge condo buildings.  What Ernest really wanted to do was to head west but until the west came calling at least this was a job and he would take it.

Just after he started on this job, the west called – Ernest would begin a training program in Edmonton on March 25^th for his “red seal” certification.  This was his big break and for once depression took a back seat to hopes and dreams. He would work very hard until March 25^th and then hit the big time out west.

Fate had other plans for Ernest. On the job, on February 7^th there was an accident.  The objective was to carry eight beams, two at a time – each weighing one hundred pounds – from one location to another. No problem.  It was a bit of an obstacle course from point A to point B but all construction sites are like that. Ernest stumbled as he was stepping down with two of the beams balanced on his broad shoulder – he fell and, while he didn’t know it at the time, he broke his arm badly and dislocated his shoulder.   There was no one around – he cried out for help and wondered if he could stand the pain.  Where was the bottle when he needed it? Being cold sober is not fun at a time like this.  Help came. Rather than call for an ambulance the other construction workers helped Ernest to a vehicle and they drove him to the Toronto General hospital.

The first surgery was not successful and his shoulder had to be reset a second time.  More pain, and more pain killers than he could imagine.  The pain was almost as bad as the depression. No pill seemed to help with that.  When Ernest was cleared to return to work on light duties he was met with exactly what he expected.  Who wants a crippled construction worker on their team? No one – and he understood. He could do little and while he tried different sites when they were offered no one seemed to be pulling for him to win this one.  When a boss insisted that he report to yet another construction site he did – after taking the street car, the subway, two busses and walking for 30 minutes he arrived late for work and was told if he was late again he would be fired.  Shove it!  He couldn’t be a company man or a union man ever again. His body and his spirit were broken.

Hello welfare one more time. With bills he simply could not pay Ernest made the toughest decision of his life. He would sell his home and property to clear his Visa and his Credit Union debt.  He did exactly that.  Ernest’s nephew bought his home with the promise that if ever he had the money he could buy it back again.

The greatest heartache of all – Ernest also lost the girl.  Her dream did not include a homeless broken man who couldn’t give her what she wanted. This detail is shared with not even an ounce of negative energy – Ernest understands.  Life is not fair.  He wants her to be happy and have everything thing in life that he cannot give her. 

After more doctors’ appointments than Ernest can remember, more physio than one should have to face while in such pain all the time and no desire to be retrained at this stage of his life Ernest said, “The Hell with it all.”  How many times can a man lose it all?

On this particular day Ernest is more positive than negative, albeit the depression demons are never far away. He qualified for, and is receiving ODSP and now lives in a sparkly furnished bachelor apartment.  He is off the street. While he was homeless most of his clothes and personal items were either stolen or lost. Even his precious guitar is gone.

Ernest comes to the Good Neighbours’ Club and volunteers to help the staff stuff envelopes for mail-outs. He has friends at the Club who understand.  He has met a man who comes from ‘back home’ and while they did not know each other in Portage River they know many of the same people there and it gives them lots to talk about.

On this particular day, there is still hope. Ernest has heard of a specialist who might be able to operate yet again on his beaten-up shoulder.   With a hopeful smile he shares that if he could have a successful operation perhaps he could return to work within six months following surgery. His goal today is to see his doctor and seek a referral to the specialist he has heard about.   And then – who knows.

Ernest tells his story with humble honesty, a sad smile and in a velvet voice that had hopes of so much more.

It could happen to any of us.